Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.