What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.