What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.