Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.