What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.