Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!