Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.