Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.