What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Avoid pier pressure.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Tropic like it's hot.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!