How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.