Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
The superconductor left without resistance.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.