What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.