“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
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