“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
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