“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
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