“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“Find a job you like and you add five days to every week."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
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