“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
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