"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
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