Worry

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
A mother catches her 12-year-old son smoking in the backyard...
"Jimmy, I can't believe this! Smoking is terrible for you, and you're so young!" Jimmy replies, "Don't worry mom, I only smoke when I'm drunk."
Dear Turkeys, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, women.
A Pig With Nightmares
A Pig With Nightmares A pig goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, I’ve been having these terrible nightmares and I can’t sleep. Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?" Doctor: "Can you describe your nightmares to me?" Pig: "They are all almost the same. First a man lures me with food, kills me and cuts me into pieces. Then he rubs salt all over my flesh!” Doctor: "I wouldn't worry about it, looks like you’re going to be cured soon."
The Mute German Boy
The Mute German Boy An American couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word. The American couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they threw him a party and made him a chocolate cake with orange icing. The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange icing on the chocolate cake.” My God,” says his mother. “You can speak?” To which the German boy replies, “Of course.” "How come you've never spoken before?“ asks his father. “Vell,” says the boy, “up until now, everything has been satisfactory.”
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Why Worry?
Why Worry? In life, there are really only two things to worry about. Either you are well, or you are sick: If you are well, there's nothing to worry about! If you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you get better, or you die. If you get better, there's nothing to worry about! If you die, there are two things to worry about. Going to Heaven, or going to Hell. If you go to Heaven, there's nothing to worry about! If you go to Hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that you won't have time to worry... So why worry at all??
Careful of that Earl Grey, it’s super hot! Oh wait, you don’t need to worry. It’s not as hot as you.
I know the difference between "less" and "fewer," but don't worry, you won't have to ask me for either of them.
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy