A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
A man was out to lunch with his friend one day. The man was explaining to his friend how he had been exploring and studying different methods of healthy eating and its effects on your body.
"After all," he said, "you are what you eat."
The man sat down at a table with a salad, a lite vinaigrette dressing, and a small unsweetened green tea, while his friend had a fried chicken sandwich, a large Coke, and fries with some extra salt on the side. As they were about to dig in to their meal, the man realized he didn't grab a fork for his salad. As he was off getting his fork, his friend, playing a prank, dumped some of his extra salt into the man's tea.
The man returned, sat, and took a sip of his tea and gagged instantly, spitting the tea all over the table. Immediately furious, the man snapped "what the hell did you do to my tea?"
The friend answered the question with a question:
"Didn't you say that you are what you eat?"
The man's expression shifted from anger to disappointment.
"If so, then this prank must've made you a little salt-tea."
A pig goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, I’ve been having these terrible nightmares and I can’t sleep. Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?"
Doctor: "Can you describe your nightmares to me?"
Pig: "They are all almost the same. First a man lures me with food, kills me and cuts me into pieces. Then he rubs salt all over my flesh!”
Doctor: "I wouldn't worry about it, looks like you’re going to be cured soon."
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