Tomorrow Jokes

I know "Good Morning" in 5 different languages
Which do you want to hear tomorrow?
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
The Genie and the Three Wishes A man finds a magic lamp. Of course, as the deal goes, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie that thunders he has 3 wishes to make.. "For my first wish, I want to be some kind of royalty." the man says. The Genie nods. "Yes, yes. That can easily be arranged." "For my second wish, I want to live in luxury, the most beautiful castle." "It will be done", the Genie agrees. "And I want to be married to a beautiful princess." "I understand", says the Genie, "However, your wishes require a lot of work. But it should be done tomorrow." So the man goes to sleep and when he wakes up, he is laying in a beautiful bed. He looks around and everything is just as he wished. He is a noble, living inside a beautiful castle and next to him a beautiful princess smiles at him. "Oh, you're finally awake, Franz-Ferdinand. We should get up, today we're traveling to Sarajevo."
Close your eyes and I will kiss you. Tomorrow I will miss you.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
The Old Man and the Potato A young man moved to the beach area and is trying to meet women, but isn't having much luck. One day, the young guy is walking down the beach, and he passes an old guy, who is completely surrounded by young beautiful women in bikinis vying for his attention. The young guy scratches his head and keeps walking, but can't understand how that old guy is meeting so many women... The next day, he takes a stroll on the beach again, and passes the same guy, who once again has many attractive young women with him. The next time he walks down the beach, he sees the old guy again, and he still has hot young women all around him. Finally, he decides that he has to know the old guy's secret, so he pulls the guy aside and asks, "How do you do it? How do you always attract so many hot young women?" The old guy responds, "Tomorrow, when you head out to the beach, slip a potato inside your bathing suit!" So the next day, the young guy slides a potato into his bathing suit and heads out for his daily beach walk. But today, all the women are actually moving farther and farther away from him! He finds the old guy again and says, "Hey, what's going on? I followed your advice, I put a potato in my bathing suit, and the women are practically running away from me!" The old guy sighs and says: "Try again tomorrow, but this time, put the potato in the front!"
Tomorrow is still a mystery.
Yesterday is already history.
And today it is your BIRTHDAY!
Here in Australia it's already tomorrow, wanna know what we did last night?
Can I wear your plaid flannel when I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
The kids made cards for Mother's Day. I asked for a card as well, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
on Sonday.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
If you wake up in a box tomorrow morning, it's cause I asked for the sexiest person in the world for Christmas.
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