There once was a young man called Kyle, who worked at the circus a while. He flew through the air, with hardly a care, and that's why his body's in a pile.
There was an Old Man, on whose nose, Most birds of the air could repose; But they all flew away At the closing of day, Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
There was an Old Person of Spain, Who hated all trouble and pain; So he sat on a chair, With his feet in the air, That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
There was an old man in a tree, Whose whiskers were lovely to see; But the birds of the air, Pluck'd them perfectly bare, To make themselves nests on that tree.
If ice cream could be grown on the tree top, Tiny tummies would be liking it lots. Any fruit flavour For all to savour. Do stop by at the ice cream tree shop.
If only the trees could grow lollipops With a sharp tangy taste of lemon drops. Lolly licky-lick With a zingy twist. Come along with a skip and a hop.
If chocolate heaven grew on tree leaf, Bountiful, tempting, delicious to eat, A smooth, silky, treat In a chocy feast. If only they weren't so out of reach.
If bubblegum grew upon trees that blew Bubbles in the air, to catch and to chew. Be nimble, be quick; Remember the trick. Don't swallow, because gum sticks like glue.
All are welcome at the Candy Tree Shops. Feast your eyes on all the goodies they've got. There are enough treats For all down the streets, So come and join the jiggery-jog.
(By Beryl L Edmonds)
The Balloon Family
There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon.
Each night the kid balloon would get nightmares and go into the parents bed when they were asleep. The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule. But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. So one night he released some air from mommy balloon. Then the next night: he released air from the daddy balloon. On the 3rd night he couldn't fit no matter how hard he tried, so he decided to release some air out of himself.
The next morning the father woke up enraged as he was still shattered from a sleepless night. He goes: 'Son, you've went to far... you've let me down, you've let your mom down, but most importantly son... you've let yourself down."
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?
From Work to Worse
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor.
The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
A man is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. A woman gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."