What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
How does every Irish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
What are the best sandwiches to serve at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Paddy melts!
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
What type of music should you play at a St. Patrick’s Day party?
Sham-rock!
You have me greening from ear to ear.
Dublin over in laughter.
You’re my lucky charm.
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
Irish cuisine is stew-pendous.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
Irish potatoes are spud-tacular.
In Ireland, I call the shots.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
Just look, it’s the Trifle Tower
Irish food is legen-dairy.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.