What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
To get to the other side.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission.
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple.
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark?
Flood lights.
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man?
Because he would be several thousand years old.
Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
He thought he saw a job.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
At what time of day did God create Adam?
Just before Eve.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
Ruthless.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns.
What animal could Noah not trust?
Cheetah
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers
What’s a missionary’s favorite type of car?
A convertible.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
Which Bible character had no parents?
Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.
As a school project, we wanted to perform a Jesus play
but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blond hair.
We begged him to dye it black, but he refused.
After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.
Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
Who was the fastest runner in the race?
Adam, because he was first in the human race.