What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.