After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
By the seat of one’s punt
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Poor white splash.
It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.