Before stealing base, these Baseball Puns will steal your heart!

Baseball Puns

Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
How can you tell if an ambidextrous baseball player is bisexual as well?
He swings both ways.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.