A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.