Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
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