What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.