What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Come witch me to the party.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.