Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.