Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.