Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.