Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.