I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!