My chickens escaped and over my yard...
I wasn't expecting the coop d'etat.
Did you hear they are not making yardsticks any longer?
They’re not making them any shorter either.
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
I’m saving money for bushes to plant around the yard when my career is over...
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record.
I decided to add a water fixture to my backyard...
... it's going well
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
Can you explain why your neighbor’s yard is so messy and overgrown?
“We’d never.”
I saw a squirrel running in circles in my yard today…
I think it lost its nuts.
I was gonna walk barefoot through the yard.
But that would cause an ecological crisis.