Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasn’t her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.”
I was trying to reshape the border of my backyard when my neighbors' fence fell over...
Wrong post.
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
My chickens escaped and over my yard...
I wasn't expecting the coop d'etat.
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard and taking poops on my flower bed.
His dog is not as bad.
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
I was gonna walk barefoot through the yard.
But that would cause an ecological crisis.
My wife got mad at me for playing catch with my son in the backyard
... I didn’t see the big deal until I dropped him.