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mama stirring pasta Jokes

mama stirring pasta Jokes and more.
Doctor Puns
Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’
Ketchup Puns
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Vehicle Puns
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta
Yeti/ Bigfoot Puns
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
Bicycle Puns
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
Three Prosperous Sons Return Home to Mom
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother." The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third said: "You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So, I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks. "William," she said, "the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Arnold," she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He's a pain!" "David," she said, "you were the only one who sent me a good gift, that chicken was delicious!"
Spice Puns
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
Corona Virus Jokes
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Family Puns
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta.
The Hilarious Idiosyncrasies of English
English is a funny language, wouldn't you say? 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? 4. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? 5. The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self- help section?". She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions? 8. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 10. Is there another word for synonym? 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 17. Can vegans eat animal crackers? 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines? 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those road signs? 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. 23. Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 25. How is it possible to have a civil war? 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it? 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
The Italian Mama
Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta." says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
Food puns
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
Cheesy Pick Up Lines
I'm not a hipster, but I could make your hips stir.
Peach Puns
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Bed Puns
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
Boat Puns
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
Anti Jokes
Yo mama's so old, she’s probably going to die soon.
Tea Puns
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,

About Six-tea years to date,

Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,

her cupious amazing traits

Her balanced demeanour

Her Kindness and (earl) grace,

rooibost sense of humour,

too many to name in this teany space,

to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,

let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,

While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,

It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Thanksgiving Jokes
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?

If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
Corn Puns
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
Let's hang out sometime. You bring your beaker and I'll bring my stirring rod.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Pasta!
Pasta who?
Italian chef who pasta away.
Turkey Puns
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Nuts Puns
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
One Liners for Kids
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?

Where’s pop corn?
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Haggling With St. Peter
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here." "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
Soup Puns
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
If You Can't Count On Family
Joshua calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm merely telling you because you're my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama." The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up." "But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?" "It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know. I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the pain." "But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?" "No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days, and I've finally come to a decision. I have an appointment with the lawyer the day after tomorrow." "Dad, don't do anything rash. I'm going to take the first flight down. Promise me that you won't do anything until I get there." "Well, all right, I promise. Next week is a holiday. I'll hold off seeing the lawyer until after the holiday meal. Call your sister in NJ and break the news to her. I just can't bear to talk about it anymore." A half hour later, Joshua receives a call from his daughter who tells him that she and her brother were able to get tickets and that they and the children will be arriving in Florida the day after tomorrow. "Benny told me that you don't want to talk about it on the telephone, but promise me that you won't do anything until we both get there!" Joshua promises. After hanging up from his daughter, he turns to his wife and says, "You were right! They're coming, and we don't even have to pay our half of the tickets!"
Train Puns
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Mosquito Puns
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Italy Puns
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
Funny Monday Quotes
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
Food Quotes
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
Pig Puns
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Bread Puns
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Tableware Puns
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
Mother Puns
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should of seen her face when I drove pasta.
That Little Pill
A senior couple decides to try Viagra for the first time ever. They have an incredible night together. In the morning, the wife asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food." Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry." "Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!"
Clever Jokes
Your mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Pot Puns
What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?
"It was a wok in the park."
Elf Puns
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Zombie Puns
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
One Liners and Short Jokes
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

“Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”
Whats the difference between marrying a Mama's Boy and a Daddy's Girl? One makes biscuits like his mother and the other makes dough like her father.
Utensils Puns
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
Medieval Puns
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Bee Puns
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
Every Elderly Woman's Wish...
 Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"  The Fairy Godmother replied: "Well, Cinderella, as you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"   Cinderella was overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, almost under her breath, she uttered her first wish:  "I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension."  Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said: "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!"  The Fairy Godmother replied: "It's the least I can do. What does your heart desire for your second wish?"  Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again."  At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. And long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul.  Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke: "You have one more wish, what will you have?"  Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said: "I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man."  Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a fundamental change in his biological make-up, that, when complete, he stood before her a boy so beautiful - the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen - so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet.  The Fairy Godmother again spoke: "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life!" And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen.  Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his strong, youthful arms. He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath:  "I bet you regret having me neutered now, don't you?"
Hot Dog Puns
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
Monster Puns
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Coffee Puns
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
Kitchen Puns
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time.
I saw an Italian man cooking pasta with a flame thrower.
I cannoli imagine what he was thinking.
I Don't Know Where to Put It
A young virgin couple is finally wed. Each one is nervous about the impending night, but neither is willing to admit it or ask each other about it. Wondering what to do first, the young man calls his father. "Pop, what do I do first?" "Get naked and climb into bed," his father replies. So, the young man does as he is advised. The girl is mortified and calls her mama. "Get naked and join him," is the advice from mama, so she complies. After laying there for a few moments, the young man excuses himself and calls his dad again. "Now what do I do?" he asks. His father replies, "Look at her naked body. Then, take the hardest part of your body and put it where she urinates!" is the dad's advice. A few moments later, the girl again calls her mama. "What do I do now?" she asks. "Well, what is he doing?" mama asks. "He's in the bathroom, dunking his head in the toilet!"
A Funny Christmas Tale
Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the substation, Not a deputy stirred, they were all on vacation. The stockings were hung on the wall with great care, Next to some T-shirts and old underwear. I was working the night shift compiling stats, Answering the phone, and feeding the rat. When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter, I leapt from my desk to see what was the matter! I opened the door with a creak and a crick, And saw a jolly red fat man I knew must be St. Nick. I had seen his picture a time or two, He was wanted: Article 27 - Section 342. I threw open the door and commanded him "Freeze!" "Put your hands on you head and get down on your knees." But he turned and he ran, up the chimney he flew, with me in pursuit, toward Booth St. I knew. When we got to the roof Santa made for his sleigh, Throwing down toys and blocking my way. As I got to the peak, he threw down some crack, I slipped and I fell landing flat on my back. To my front I was faced with a toy M-1 tank, And Pink Power Rangers covering my flank. "On Dasher, on Dancer!", he cried loud and clear. Then I got off three rounds and just missed the lead deer. And I heard Santa say as he sailed into the blue, "Merry Christmas to all! My Lawyers will sue!"