“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Monday should be optional.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
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