“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”