“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
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