“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Monday should be optional.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
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