“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”