“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Monday should be optional.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
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