Thanksgiving is the Halloween of Turkeys, also a great time to have a laugh! Here are jokes, puns and one liners about one of our favorite holidays.

Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?

Answer: Peach gobbler!
What’s black, white and red?

A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.

We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?

“OK, spare me no insults!"
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.

But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?

He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?

Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?

Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?

I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?

One baked with May-flour.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?

You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?

Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?

Turkey in suspense.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving