Thanksgiving is the Halloween of Turkeys, also a great time to have a laugh! Here are jokes, puns and one liners about one of our favorite holidays.

Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?

Answer: Peach gobbler!
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?

Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?

He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?

Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
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Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?

I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?

Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?

He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?

If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?

It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.

Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?

Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?

Fast food.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?

“OK, spare me no insults!"
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?

You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?

Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
What do turkeys and women have in common?

A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"

Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving