Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? Pil-grimace.
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
How did the Pilgrims die?
It was the Pil-grim Reaper.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?
Fast food.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.
We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
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