What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
What’s the easiest way to catch a turkey?
Ask a friend to toss one at you.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
.
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?
Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A bird who can pluck itself.
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?
Fast food.
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
What key can’t open doors no matter how hard you try?
Turkey.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? Pilgrammar.
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.
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