Thanksgiving JokesJoke Generator

Thanksgiving is the Halloween of Turkeys, also a great time to have a laugh! Here are jokes, puns and one liners about one of our favorite holidays.

Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?

Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What’s black, white and red?

A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.

We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?

“OK, spare me no insults!"
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.

But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?

Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?

Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?

Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?

I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?

One baked with May-flour.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?

You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?

Fast food.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?

Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?

Turkey in suspense.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?

They turn into blueberries.
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.

Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?

Good restaurant reservations.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?

Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?

Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?

He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?

The family dog’s nose.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?

It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
How did the Pilgrims die?

It was the Pil-grim Reaper.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
What key can’t open doors no matter how hard you try?

What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”

That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?

Thanksgiving breakfast.
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