I was talking to my friend and he asked me, “As a young boy was your mom strict with you?” I told him, “To be honest,...
“...my mother was never a young boy.”
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
She's my aunt
What do you call a parallelogram that's also your parent's mother?
A parallelogramma
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum
My mom is a metalurgist
I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:
I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
These aren't your mom's puns, these are your sisters puns. Tam-puns
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
Momorial Day
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner?
Taco ma
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence
...and I got to keep mine.
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
Son, your mother died. It happened when she choked on her dinner from laughing.
You could say I have a killer sense of humor.
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon.
At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it
I told her it’s so he can cut corners
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
One of my mother's friends asked if she could be a surrogate
I guess she was just looking for a womb for rent.
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother?
Magma
My mother's mother hit the jackpot at the BINGO!!!
She's a grammy winner!
I once pranked my mom and told her that I had lyme disease
I still had a few ticks up my sleeve
My mother always laughed at me when I told her my dream was to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should of seen her face when I drove pasta.