My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
How rare is an excellent father?
Legen-daddy
What did the father say to his falling son?
Son, you've got potential.
My father is so cheap...
When we go to bed he unplugs the clocks.
I’ve always followed in my father’s footsteps until today.
He turned around and said, “STOP!”
What kind of humor did the Founding Fathers partake in?
Dad jokes
Kids got me an Old-school Chemistry set for Father's Day...
... Totally in my Element.
My father ran his whole roofing business and it was a great success.
He had to stay on top of things though.
My father and grandfather work for the DMV.
I come from a long line of long lines.
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
I was ready and wading!
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
Make 'em eat Pop-Corn
What's the problem with Father's day?
It always falls on Son-day
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
I like celebrating Fathers' Day, but I'm not a dad.
I guess I'm just a faux pas.
Why couldn't the father afford to take his kids to classical music concerts?
Because he was Baroque
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...
For I have synonymed.
Son: Father can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Father: No sun.
One day, a father was washing a car with his son...
The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"
On Father's Day, I thanked my dad for his contribution to my birth.
He said it was his pleasure.
I seen my father pouring chicken soup over his compost yesterday
I suppose chicken soup IS good for the soil.
I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee.
But no, I was charged $30 a pop.
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. “Daddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.
“It’s long story,” replies the father.
The only reason i want to become a father is to make dad jokes all the time. Some people think I am kidding
But i’m dad serious
My father was a blind carpenter
until he picked up his hammer and saw.
I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."
My late father once said
Sorry I’m late.