I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."
I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee.
But no, I was charged $30 a pop.
My father ran his whole roofing business and it was a great success.
He had to stay on top of things though.
My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
My late father once said
Sorry I’m late.
My father was a blind carpenter
until he picked up his hammer and saw.
My father and grandfather work for the DMV.
I come from a long line of long lines.
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
Make 'em eat Pop-Corn
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. “Daddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.
“It’s long story,” replies the father.
What's the problem with Father's day?
It always falls on Son-day
What did the father say to his falling son?
Son, you've got potential.
Son: Father can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Father: No sun.
On Father's Day, I thanked my dad for his contribution to my birth.
He said it was his pleasure.
Kids got me an Old-school Chemistry set for Father's Day...
... Totally in my Element.
I’ve always followed in my father’s footsteps until today.
He turned around and said, “STOP!”
What kind of humor did the Founding Fathers partake in?
Dad jokes
How rare is an excellent father?
Legen-daddy
I like celebrating Fathers' Day, but I'm not a dad.
I guess I'm just a faux pas.
The only reason i want to become a father is to make dad jokes all the time. Some people think I am kidding
But i’m dad serious
Why couldn't the father afford to take his kids to classical music concerts?
Because he was Baroque
I seen my father pouring chicken soup over his compost yesterday
I suppose chicken soup IS good for the soil.
I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...
It's called the Santa Clause
My father is so cheap...
When we go to bed he unplugs the clocks.
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
I was ready and wading!
One day, a father was washing a car with his son...
The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...
For I have synonymed.