What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!