Don't get tide down.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.