Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!