The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.