How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.