How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Ah! The element of surprise.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.