My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
The sun is just a big space heater.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.