You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
You’re my heartthrob.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.