What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."