What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.