Rain

What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
Who went by the slow rain to Weedon;
When they cried, 'Weedon Station!'
She made no observation
But thought she should go back to Sweden.
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."

The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."

"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."

"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."

She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."

"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
There once was a child in Spain.
Who loved to play in the rain.
One day he tripped.
And broke his hip.
Now he is in serious pain.
Why is there no Aspirin in the rain forest?
Because it wouldn’t be financially viable to try to sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
The Naked Marathon Runner
The Naked Marathon Runner A woman was having an affair. One rainy day she was in bed with her Lover when she heard her husband"s car pull into the driveway. Woman: "OMG - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window". Lover: It"s raining out there!" Woman: "If my husband catches us, he"ll kill us!" The lover jumps out of the window. As he runs down the street in rain, he discovered he had run right into the middle of the town"s marathon. He started running alongwith the others, 300 of them. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked". "Oh yes!" he replied. "It feels so wonderfully free!" Another runner: "Do you always run carrying clothes under your arm?" "Oh, yes" Lover answered. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and go home!" 3rd runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" "Nope..just when it"s raining."
Two Blondes and a Car
Two Blondes and a Car Two blondes were exiting a restaurant when they discovered, to their horror, that they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle?
An extra hour of rain.
The Old Man and the Puddle
The Old Man and the Puddle It was a long day at work, and George decided to leave his London office and walk to the pub across the street to get a few drinks. The rain was pouring as he stepped out, and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. As he crossed the street, he noticed a ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. His curiosity piqued, he stopped next to the old man and asked what he was doing. "Fishing." The old man said simply without looking at George. "Poor old fool." George thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he thought he'd humor the old man and asked, "Well... how many have you caught?" "You're the eighth."
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.