Locked Jokes

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
Two Blondes and a Car Two blondes were exiting a restaurant when they discovered, to their horror, that they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine - I only get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Doris.
Doris who?
The Doris locked, why do you think I'm knocking?
Our school trip was a special occasion.
But we never reacher our destination.
Instead of the zoo.
I was locked in the loo.
of the toilet at the service station!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”

- Erma Bombeck.
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