Locked

Yo Momma so poor I saw her banging on a trash can and when I asked her what she was doing, she said her kids locked her out.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Doris.
Doris who?
The Doris locked, why do you think I'm knocking?
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Two Blondes and a Car
Two Blondes and a Car Two blondes were exiting a restaurant when they discovered, to their horror, that they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”

- Erma Bombeck.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine - I only get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
Our school trip was a special occasion.
But we never reacher our destination.
Instead of the zoo.
I was locked in the loo.
of the toilet at the service station!
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